1. Don't mention the Elgin Marbles whilst tootling through the Greek countryside this summer – they are still very annoyed about them being in the British Museum.

2. Don't use satnav or GPS to identify speed cameras in France – the local authorities will take a dim view if they catch you.

3. Don't make the OK symbol with your thumb and finger in Germany, where it means something else entirely.

4. Don't mention Gibraltar Rock to a Spaniard – unless you are asking directions to it (in which case do so in your best Spanish!)

5. Don't keep your engine running if you are stopped by German police. Shut it off and exit the vehicle. German police rarely stop vehicles – even red light running and speeding are managed via postal penalties. So if a German cop stops you, you know it's serious!

6. Don't wear sweatpants in public while visiting Denmark– it is frowned upon.

7. Don't ask for tomato ketchup while eating home-cooked food in Spain– doing so will cause serious offence. And make sure you eat everything on the plate.

8. Don't nod your head for 'yes' in Bulgaria– shake your head instead. Equally, nod your head for 'no'.

9. Don't worry if a Portuguese person says they are constipação: it simply means they are feeling cold.

10. Don't show your flat open palm to a Greek, it is considered a rude gesture and almost as bad as mentioning the Elgin Marbles.

11. Don’t forget to take out your short term European breakdown cover before you go!